星期三, 八月 31, 2005

Dying, Survival mode and the Boondock Saints

So last night, some friends and I watched "Boondock Saints" for our post-Greenhouse enjoyable social activity. It was one of the better movies I had seen in recent memory. Mainly, because it was so intense on quite a few levels.

The basic premise is that these two Irish, blue-collar, guys end up killing all the evil men in their city. The mafiosos, child molesters and those who abuse the poor, helpless and oppressed are all fair game for these angels of wrath. Furthermore, these men believed God condoned and appreciated their 'help'. Obviously, their are some serious issues with the theology here. God certainly doesn't condone vengance of any sort. He's much more concerned with us doing right by the poor and the oppressed than he is with any sort of vengance on our part.

At the same time, I enjoyed how these two guys took responsibility. They were not directly responsible for these crimes. Yet they felt that their ability to remedy the situation equalled a responsibility from God.

Yet for us, we have totally ignored the injustice in the world. The Rabbi's accused Israel that, "it was in their power to protest and they protested not." How often is that true of the church?

I'm not talking about the Holocaust or ancient Genocides we have nothing to do with either. I'm talking about Sudan and Rwanda and Israel and China. I'm talking about most of the Middle East. I'm talking about the poor people all over the world and right here in East Lansing who desprately need God. I'm talking about the college students who I look at every day who are dying because they don't have anything to live for. I'm talking about the people I ignore every day and so I'm talking to myself.

The thing is, such a vital part of being the body of Christ to the world today is incarnating Him to those who need Him most. We represent in some mystical fashion and we carry His image to places that don't have Him. However, the Lord ultimately fights for us. We need to follow Him and die to ourselves first, before we go incarnating Him to places of deep desprateness that surround us. So much of Christ can be brought to the world if we really, stop, give up and let Christ come with us. We push Him out with our good ideas or wise words, like He has to be subordinate to our plans. Instead, we must die by giving up our pretensions, by trying not to defend ourselves to others, and by forgoing the world's relational economy.

I feel this is the essence of true humility, that we stop trying to play each others games. God tells us we are good, and his validation helps us not need it from others. I think, at least for me, death to ourselves is not seeking their approval. If God alone tells us we are good, then He can dwell with us and in us. That incarnates the Gospel to a world that deprately desprately needs Him

Daniel

星期二, 八月 30, 2005

Understanding tragedy and paying attention

I've noticed that we don't pay attention to things that don't have a lot of proximity to us. Living in Michigan, things like the hurricanes in Lousiana or genocides in Africa don't really occupy a large part of our time. Why is that? The conflict in places like Sudan is just as weighty as 9/11 or Oklahoma City. Why don't pay more attention to the world around us?

To let everybody know, I think I'm comng to some resolution to those issues of being comfortable in my own skin that I mentioned earlier. God is good and faithful and He shows me how I'm His now matter what. God's love is amazing and there's really no way to say that without sounding trite, but I don't care. It doesn't make his love any less amazing and astounding.

I love You Jesus

Daniel

星期六, 八月 27, 2005

I just want to seek God

Do you ever get tired of putting up a front for people? I go through times where I don't want to be around people, cause my "being around people face" feels different and harder than the face I wear when I am alone. I've always thought that God was in some ways a lot easier to deal with than people, just because He understands you completely. Humans, to some degree or another, are incapable of understanding completely why another human does what they do.

The question of human existance is, "who are we?" Is it no wonder that God, when he talked to Moses through the burning bush, called Himself, I AM. He defined Himself by His identity and that was enough. I guess what I want to know, at the deepest most spritual level is who am I?

Who am I?

Daniel

星期五, 八月 26, 2005

I am a dork

I hate saying stuff like what I'm about to say. It sounds so self-depreciating like I feel bad about myself, and I am just trying to fish for compliments to make myself feel better. I am not. Someone, however, will probably respond as if I am trying to fish for compliments. This person will probably be my mom. (But not through any fault of her own, she seems to be the only person I know who posts on my site, so the odds are in her favor. Not like I'm complaining. I like the fact that she posts on my site. I value her input. I'm just simply stating, POST MORE PEOPLE GEEEEEEEZ!!!!) Anyway, to continue the metaphor, the fish will bite the line I did not ever intend to cast. I guess that is unavoidable. Really, it's a risk I am willing to take.

With that said, I would like to say, what I meant to say at the beginning of this post before my self-diagnosed ADHD reared it's large gravitationaly induced head. Simply put...

I am a dork.

No, seriously. The fact that it took me 200 words to get to this point really confirms my statement, more than anything else. I have weird, quircky habits. I enjoy studying. I look forward to school. I get excited about grammar and nervous around girls. I am not graceful, nor am I coordinated. I require Job-like patience if I am ever on your sport's team.

The thing is, I also care about what other people think. All these things, (and trust me--- this is not a complete list), are totally innocuous and (when you really think about it) amazingly funny. However, I seek my validation in others and that is what really scorches me. Looking for the mass's seal of approval will take the quirks and make them loadstones, heaped on beyond what you can stand.

I think it's not a coincidence this stuff goes through my mind when I get to campus. I worry about how I am going to come off to people, what my first impression will be like and whether I can really show them why they should like/respect/admire me the second they meet me. I feel I need to defend my position in this world and compare myselves to others.

Donald Miller tells this story of how he was forced to do a "values clarification" excercise. He was given a list of 5 people with different skils (layer, doctor, garbageman, etc.). In the excercise, one of the people needs to be thrown overboard to save the others. In this situation, Who do you toss?

How often do we relate to others like we do in the lifeboat? How often does our talk about ourselves really amount to an exagerated list of why we should be kept on board? Is it no coincidence that the God we serve walked on water? He didn't think like we did when it comes to the "self-defense" of the lifeboat. Everybody had worth and value. Nobody was excluded in God's relational economy. He didn't play the games we do. Ultimately, it comes down to be comfortable with who God has made you and finding your validation in Him. God tells me I'm good and on his boat, I will not be thrown off.

That helps how we look at others, I think. We start to realize that maybe life isn't a competition, but instead, God has room enough for everybody---- no matter what. Only then does God enable us to be the dorks he called us to be...

Daniel

星期三, 八月 24, 2005

reflections on pain...

Pain is such where it causes us to focus on ourselves. WE have this pain and WE must get rid of it, and the ONLY thing that matters is feeling better. Put at the same time, I think a mark of spiritual maturity is not caring about anything else but God, even when it hurts. Don't worry, I'm not advocating ascetism or the strict faith of the monastaries when I say this. I'm only saying that when pain and tragedy and heartache do come, that we love God more, even more than we want relief.

At the same time, God doesn't want us to detach ourselves from the world either. Feeling anything, be it pain or pleasure or the love of the masses, is distinctly human and when we feel, a part of us is longing for a life how God made us, a life right out of Gen 1. (Simply, I believe that human emotion is conecting with this genesis-1 paradise life, specifically it's presence or it's absence in the world today.) However, I think my point is that we must react to that emotion by saying, "I will feel this in the normal human course of things, but I will love God more. I will seek Him even more than I want the cessation and or continuation of this state (depending on what you are feeling at the moment). God wants us to pursue Him with priority above everything in Heaven and Earth.

God of longing, show us your face. Show us the life for which we were made. Be there in the midst of our suffering and our pleasures. Let us scream, "blessed be your name" as Job did but let us really mean it, that you really are blessed above every good and bad thing we go through. Let us bless your name in both the good times and the bad times, both are difficult and in both we desprately yearn for you, God of this underground romance. Starfire God, come, show up. Be with MSU as school starts. Keep people safe and let us all drink deep of destiny as one people, together pursuing the great romance. Be there God. BE THERE!!!!!!!!! Passion of Christ, Consume us all even past the point of our pride.

Amen

I love You God,

Daniel

an article I liked

I really liked this article--- check it out all.... I got it off of relevant magazine's mail they send me.... www.relevantmagazine.com

enjoy!!!

Daniel

Why I went back to church by Stephen W. Simpson

For almost five years, I didn’t go to church. It was only me and Reverend Bedpost most Sundays. I’d get inspired or guilty once in a while and church shop for a few weeks, but soon I’d be back to hitting the snooze button. I was attending seminary at the time, so I convinced myself that I was getting enough religion during the week. I thought my friends were enough of a “faith community” and I didn’t need to practice some banal weekend ritual. But I had another reason for playing hooky from Church that I never told anyone: I couldn’t stomach being around other Christians. I thought Christians were completely full of crap.

I’m serious. Imagine us through the eyes of a nonbeliever who didn’t grow up in a religious tradition. We do a bunch of weird, ridiculous and sometimes stupid things. That’s on a good day. On a bad day, we’re downright mean.


Let’s begin with the weird part. For starters, we have our own language. We use words like “fellowship,” “sanctify” and “discern” in about a hundred different ways. When we pray, we’re over-fond of the word “just” and doubling-up on God’s name (“Lord God, Lord Jesus, Jesus Lord,” etc.). And this is only what garden-variety evangelicals do. Some Christians get downright bizarre, especially when they worship. It’s a wonder that we haven’t scared away all sensible nonbelievers.

Then there’s the ridiculous. First, we have a preoccupation with hokey costumes. Whether it’s big hair on TBN, big hats at the Vatican or the mandatory cropped facial hair for male leaders in the Emergent Church, Christians feel compelled to don uniforms that distinguish us from the rest of the world. It’s silly and pointless. It’s almost as ridiculous as how we behave while singing praise songs. Ever notice that people don’t stick their hands in the air because of the words? It happens at the chorus or the bridge of a song, when the music switches to big major chords. I bet you could put the words to the Alphabet song along with the big crescendo in a worship song, and you see just as many palms in the air.

The stupid and mean things flow together on a continuum. On the stupid side, Christians get their tails in a knot about the most irrelevant things. Harry Potter? Please. The whole continent of Africa is getting flushed down the toilet, and the Pope and a bunch of high-profile preachers are worried about a bespectacled British kid on a broom. But stupidity just passes the time for idle Christians. If you cross us on a serious issue, we get mean in ways that would make Michael Corleone blush. If someone offends our moral sensibility or tries to change a law that’s close to our hearts, we set an entire cultural machine in motion. We have money, politicians, lobbyists and corporate giants at our disposal. Christians on the ground picket with angry slogans, while Christians in the high-rises of power write checks for lobbyists and politicians. We have no problem thumping pagan skulls when the culture moves in a direction we don’t like. As a result, much of the world not only hates us, they’re afraid of us.

So why on earth would I want to hang out with these people? I love Jesus with all my heart, but I find His flock annoying. During my self-exile from church, I was picky about the Christians with whom I did “fellowship,” and often preferred the company of nonchristians. Why would I want to go to church with a bunch of people so full of crap?

Because I’m even more full of crap. When God revealed that to me, I started going to church again. God had to go out of His way to remind me of this through some humbling experiences, but the proof was there all along. I just got snobby and didn’t bother to look.

If Christians use weird language, I need look no further than my job to realize that I do the same. I’m a psychologist. That means I use convoluted, condescending and confusing ways to describe what’s common sense and simple. Worse than that, I’m prone to using profanity when I’m out of earshot of anyone who might get offended (and sometimes when I’m not). I’ll go out on a limb and say that puts me in no position to judge folks who insert “just” into every other word of a prayer.

I’m also guilty of the ridiculous. I always shop at the same two stores, though I could probably get clothes of the same quality cheaper somewhere else. I get obsessed with video games, even though I’m a 36-year-old man with a wife and four kids. I’m also one of these dorks who’ll look for movie spoilers on the Internet months before a film comes out. But I’m perhaps no more ridiculous than when at a rock concert, especially U2. Remember how I slammed other Christians for raising their hands in worship because of a change in the music rather than the words? I do the same thing. I’ll stick my hands in the air like a Pentecostal during a rousing point in a U2 song, though I have no idea what the heck Bono is singing about.

I’ve got stupid and mean down, as well. The stupid part is a sort of reverse-dogmatism. I’m real big on not judging someone, unless I think someone else is judgmental. I’d be willing to extend grace to violent criminal on death row, while passing harsh judgment on a good person whose beliefs I consider too rigid or dogmatic. But that’s just when I’m being stupid. I can get mean, too. I’m not talking about “having a bad day” orneriness—I mean vicious. If someone is rude to me on the freeway or in the supermarket, I have no problem retaliating with vigor, sometimes using the aforementioned profanity. I’m good at it, too. I can get nasty and aggressive in ways that few Christians could imagine and none could justify. Though I want to throttle Christians who use terrible names for people when they don’t like their lifestyle, somebody needs to throttle me when I give a look that could curdle milk to a stranger who took “my” parking place.

Once God revealed my hypocrisy, it made going to church easier. Church is a good place for people who are full of crap. Being a Christian means that you realize that you’re full of crap and that you need help. In fact, we should change the passing of the peace from “Peace be with you” to “You’re full of crap and so am I.”

Mike Yaconelli once said that church should be a place where we look at each other and say, “What are you doing here?” None of us is good enough to be there. Not one of us is righteous. Progressive types like me give more conservative Christians a hard time for being too “exclusive,” but we’re just as bad. We get just as easily annoyed and turn our backs on other children of God who don’t share our views. It’s so much easier to be snide than vulnerable. It’s much safer to be sarcastic than expose my heart to someone I don’t like. But once I stopped thinking of myself as too cool and took the time to get to know those I’d been judging, I made a shocking discovery. I like other Christians They might act nutty during worship, they’re beliefs might be too stinking rigid, and thy might even dress goofy, but I love those folks. They made me laugh, brought me joy and showed me love. That last one humbled me big time.

Yes, Christians are irritating. We can all be weird, ridiculous, stupid and mean. I’m a good example. That’s why we have to rely on God to clear our vision, change our hearts, and stop us from being ridiculous, stupid, and mean (I don’t think God cares so much about the weird part). If we let God fill us with His love rather than trusting our own assumptions, we will begin to love those who annoy us. We can go from being full of crap to full of grace and love. We get over ourselves and the little things that divide us, learning to see each other as God does. And God loves that person who irritates me just as much as He loves me. If I can remember that, maybe I won’t be so full of crap.

[Stephen W. Simpson lives with his wife and four kids in Pasadena, Calif. He attends church often.]

星期一, 八月 22, 2005

no particular order

Couple random thoughts...

1. If you want something, ask God. He might give it to you, he might not. If it's good he certainly will. But ask, we miss out of a lot of cool stuff that way.

2. Don't settle for anything less than what God wants. He's infinitely wise and knows what is good. Don't settle.

3. God provides.

4. God speaks non-verbally, at least for me, I feel like when I hear the Voice of God, it's me translating communicated intuition into a form of speech I can understand. Something gets lost, obviously, but God is willing to take that risk I think. He's so much higher than we are that often his voice comes out like an mp3 which you attempt to record on a cassette tape. It's processed so much (by a machine with a lower processing capacity-us!) that something of the quality of the sound is lost. Thus, we see God 'through a glass darkly' and his voice comes out grainy and distorted and quieter. God doesn't care; however, because it's not silence and at least he gets some communication with his beloved (again--- us)

5. What does it mean to be yourself? Who the fwup are we?

6. Choose to let people bring out the best in you. You have at least some control over every impression you make.

7. Live the Great Romance.

8. Be who you are and who God made you--- ie-- a spaz. (okay, maybe that's just me)

9. Live your life and serve God and people. Let others go first.

10. Seize the day, God commands it.

Apologies if these sound too hallmarkish--- however it's what I've got from God the last couple days. Hopefully I can live up to them...

Daniel

星期四, 八月 18, 2005

Brief reflections while eating my mom's thai pasta

I'm trying to see God in the dreams we try to embark on. I've always wanted to travel as most of you know. It's been practically my dream to live out of a suitcase and do missions work, living by the skin of my teeth as God shows me all sorts of stuff and works through me to help a bunch of people.

It hit me however, that I could go tomorrow if I wanted to, especially if I wanted to work abroad (a given as I don't have any money). Don't worry, (Mom!) I'm not going tomorrow. The thing is, I could though. That is sobering and for me, It's difficult to find my way out of such a maze of good decisions.

So my conundruum is this, when does God put your 'future' on your heart? When does he tell you through things like prayer, fasting, etc, etc,?

maybe both?

Daniel

星期六, 八月 13, 2005

The community of God and how cool it is......

I'm reading Zechariayah's prophecy he gave after the birth of his son (Luke 1:67-80). In it, he first talks about what God's doing and then he discusses the specific call Adonai had placed on His son (John the Baptist). What I think is cool is that, in this passage, God is seen working primarily on a coporate level. What does this mean for Israel, God's people as a whole. The individual isn't really talked about, mainly because God is doing something bigger than the individual, catching the people up in something bigger than themselves. (Don't get me wrong, I think individual and coporate pursuits of God are both huge and important, but that's a topic for another day).

I think that's why I picked up reading comic books, science fiction and fantasy as hobby, (I know it's pathetic, I am 19 after all). It's this resonant human need to be caught up in something bigger than yourself. Lewis said that love and unselfishness aren't necessarily not thinking of yourself, but forgeting your self exists. We are caught up in this great dance of which everybody is a part, and, in that dance, a large part of finding individual sucess and fufillment is by staring at God for so long and with so many others that you forget success and fufillment is the thing you are looking for. God sweeps His people up in this great dance of life, and that is what we are looking for!

Daniel

星期五, 八月 12, 2005

worship 101

People are yearning for God to show Himself in their situation. This expectation has formed everything from the Jewish hopes of the Messiah to the present cries of Pentecostals. But the fact remains that more people than ever want God to just DO something. Move, heal, give. Show me where I should go. I need you to come and be here. Where the heck are you oh God?

But maybe God works in our need for Him. Simply because when we ask him for something, that’s the closest we ever get to treating Him like a real person. I mean, we ask people for things in all sorts of different manners, but by asking we acknowledge their value as a person and their ability to grant what we desire. Asking is a recognition of personhood. Admittedly, it’s an elementary conception of God, but sometimes it’s the best we have. I would even venture to say that the words, “God I need You,” are the core curricula of Worship 101.

God I need You.

Here’s an essay for Greenhouse about social justice, worship and engaging the culture we live in. I hope this helps somebody……

“The Gospel of Jesus isn’t the Gospel of Jesus if it doesn’t help the dump kids.” That phrase etched its way on my heart, through tears, until it wouldn’t allow me a moment’s peace. I fled from my meeting sobbing and screaming with the voice of my heart. Anything that doesn’t help those children is not Christ’s Gospel. Anyone who says different is a liar or a fool or a monster or a…words failed me at this point. As I leaned against the shed sobbing and staring angrily at the sun-swept sky, my inner knowing scrolled through the litany of torments for the comfortable who allowed THIS to happen. (It doesn’t matter that I was one of those comfortable). What monsters!

The meeting I ended up ‘excusing myself’ from was one of the night programs for Concordia Language Villages’ Spanish Camp in which I was a counselor. The subject was child labor and the millions of children all over the word who were denied basic human rights, such as school, friends, and a childhood in order to ensure their survival.

Now I tend to get overly dramatic about such things, and I certainly don’t want to portray the idea that I am some sterling saint who cries about injustice all day long. (I live quite comfortably). I had spent the last three odd weeks with a bunch of screaming kids, fighting to create the language immersion environment Concordia is famous for. I sat in this meeting physically, mentally, spiritually drained of just about every resource I had. I felt like I had reached my limit, and you expect me to deal with this again?

The last time I had to deal with poverty of this stripe was the dump towns of Nicaragua. Children sniffing glue, wandering among piles of trash, haunting the smoke from the slowly combusting garbage as if they were the living dead—these tragedies have a way of undoing even the strongest souls. You want to help things, to fix them, so these kids don’t have to hurt any more. The thing is, I can’t do all I want to ease my conscience. It’s not about easing my conscience anyway. Besides, these problems require more than overnight solutions. Yet you don’t think of that while you sob for the dump kids. You only think of doing something. But what?

Last Tuesday, we watched The Village and pondered what it would take for the Church to leave our village and impact culture. I would venture that the answer lies somewhere in a compassion, however you chose to help, for the dump kids of the world. This is where culture gets affected, in the shirt given to the street child, the change given to the beggar and the piece of bread given to those who have none. People see and understand that Christ is very real to do something. He’s not like the gods of this world that demand and consume but never give back to the people who promise their lives. This revelation of Christ not only changes culture; it also changes us. This is how we meet God.

Christ meets us in the poor. He said that whatever we do for the least of these, it is as if we do it for the Lord Himself. Thomas Merton called it the “mystical presence of Christ in the poor”. For whatever reason, our Lord delights to ‘dress up’ as these dump kids. He communes with us ardently as we minister to Him, Our God who hides in the gaze of the poor.

I conclude with the words of Che Guevara. He penned these words about his journies through South America, on much the same mission as Christ has charged his church.

“This isn’t the story of impressive deeds… it’s a piece of two lives which ran together. A man… can think of many things that range from the most elevated philosophical speculation to the face yearning for the a plate of soup, in total correlation with the empty state of his stomach.”

There are millions of empty stomach in this world that Christ has commanded us to fill. What are you going to do about it?