I am a dork
I hate saying stuff like what I'm about to say. It sounds so self-depreciating like I feel bad about myself, and I am just trying to fish for compliments to make myself feel better. I am not. Someone, however, will probably respond as if I am trying to fish for compliments. This person will probably be my mom. (But not through any fault of her own, she seems to be the only person I know who posts on my site, so the odds are in her favor. Not like I'm complaining. I like the fact that she posts on my site. I value her input. I'm just simply stating, POST MORE PEOPLE GEEEEEEEZ!!!!) Anyway, to continue the metaphor, the fish will bite the line I did not ever intend to cast. I guess that is unavoidable. Really, it's a risk I am willing to take.
With that said, I would like to say, what I meant to say at the beginning of this post before my self-diagnosed ADHD reared it's large gravitationaly induced head. Simply put...
I am a dork.
No, seriously. The fact that it took me 200 words to get to this point really confirms my statement, more than anything else. I have weird, quircky habits. I enjoy studying. I look forward to school. I get excited about grammar and nervous around girls. I am not graceful, nor am I coordinated. I require Job-like patience if I am ever on your sport's team.
The thing is, I also care about what other people think. All these things, (and trust me--- this is not a complete list), are totally innocuous and (when you really think about it) amazingly funny. However, I seek my validation in others and that is what really scorches me. Looking for the mass's seal of approval will take the quirks and make them loadstones, heaped on beyond what you can stand.
I think it's not a coincidence this stuff goes through my mind when I get to campus. I worry about how I am going to come off to people, what my first impression will be like and whether I can really show them why they should like/respect/admire me the second they meet me. I feel I need to defend my position in this world and compare myselves to others.
Donald Miller tells this story of how he was forced to do a "values clarification" excercise. He was given a list of 5 people with different skils (layer, doctor, garbageman, etc.). In the excercise, one of the people needs to be thrown overboard to save the others. In this situation, Who do you toss?
How often do we relate to others like we do in the lifeboat? How often does our talk about ourselves really amount to an exagerated list of why we should be kept on board? Is it no coincidence that the God we serve walked on water? He didn't think like we did when it comes to the "self-defense" of the lifeboat. Everybody had worth and value. Nobody was excluded in God's relational economy. He didn't play the games we do. Ultimately, it comes down to be comfortable with who God has made you and finding your validation in Him. God tells me I'm good and on his boat, I will not be thrown off.
That helps how we look at others, I think. We start to realize that maybe life isn't a competition, but instead, God has room enough for everybody---- no matter what. Only then does God enable us to be the dorks he called us to be...
Daniel
posted by Daniel @ 8:25 下午
9 comments
9 Comments:
Daniel, you're no dork. You are one of the most profound people I know. If your friends don't get it, their loss. Just be yourself. Grandma
You are who your suppose to be in God's divine plan.
So your saying God created us in his perfect plan. We have to be comfortable with who God created us to be.
Absolutely, but that comfort comes through Jesus and His telling us we are good and righteous and just. and lovely. It's believing that our hearts are good because he saved our hearts.
Do I know anonymous or is that Grandma again?
Yes, you do know anoynmous! No, it's not your grandma.
Alright, well if you are going to make me guess, I would have to say Mom.
But I hate guessing!
Daniel
Yeah, you're a dork...but that doesn't mean that people don't like you. Look at Screech on "saved by the bell." He was a dork, but his friends were cool and liked him anyways. Hermione is a really big dork, but she's something special. My uncle Rich is an old guy with thinning gray hair who talks way too much about esoteric subjects that go over people's heads. But everyone likes him. I run around wearing T-shirts that say "Snape is Innocent" or that have a little yellow creature called "The Cheat" emblazed across the front, and people still want to be my friend.
No one really cares how cool or how dorky you are. They care that you pay attention to them, make them feel special, and pour the love of God into their lives. Yeah, high school can be mean and people get into the whole popularity game, but by college, I think most of that is kinda gone, because people are lonely, and want to be reached out to by someone. It's pretty easy to send out a mass email that says "hey everyone! If anyone's free on Saturday, call me!" but rather hard to personally call someone and invite them to do something with you. If no one responds to the email, you didn't get rejected to your face, and you can assume that people are busy, didn't get it in time, etc. But if someone outright says "I don't want to be with you" it's kinda a let down, and you feel rejected.
But in my experience, 90% of the people that I personally call and say "I like you. I want to get to know you better. Let's hang out. When do you want to?" end up wanting to hang out and DO get together with me, and I end up with friends.
Ask people out. Ask other guys out to do something. Ask girls out to get together and talk or share a meal. Ask people to go to things in groups with you. Be the leader. A wallflower is not a minister of the gospel of grace and love.
Dorks are cool. They are cool because they are who they are. Maybe they want others to see their coolness, but people who change themselves to be thought cool or acceptable are generic.
You are unique. Embrace your inner dork. I frequently say that I am a dork. I own it. I am proud of it.
And, remember, there are girls who like nerds, dorks, and geeks. I'm dating one. I call him "Professor." He does gaming, loves reading, and listens to classical music. But there are other things that makes him awesome--like a kind and gentle spirit.
You may not share his hobbies, but you have that kind and gentle spirit. Some lucky girl will take notice and take a chance. She may even find your nervousness cute. Give us females from credit. Some of us recognize a gem of a guy. Some lucky girl will see that in you.
--Elisabeth
I just realized that whenever someone reads the redpool they end up here. I suppose that is God's way of telling me that He loves me, dorkiness and all.
I wouldn't put it past him.
Daniel
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