thanks and complaints

There's a lot I have to say today. I feel like I'm becoming a better writer through this thing (at least I feel like I like a lot more of what I churn out--- the objective assesment of my quality is ultimately up to you, the reader).

God has a tendency to do bug me when it comes to girls. I feel the Spirit encouraging me to 'pursue' (a bad word for it--- maybe 'do the dating thing' is a better way to put it) girls who usually don't reciprocate. Then, it drives me into His arms and when I ask why this happened, why the rejection and such, he says He uses it to drive me closer to Him and to reveal his lover self to me.

(when I say God spoke to me, I don't mean to say it's an audible voice or something like that. A lot of times God speaks in Scriptures, ideas, or knowings that you cannot explain. The voice of God is a topic for another day....)

Anyway, Isn't there a way for Him to drive me closer without getting my butt shot down everytime? Rejection sucks!!! There has got to be an easier way to learn to love God than this!!

At the same time, I still love Him. If worse comes to worse, God is worth getting rejected for. I know some people are going to read this and tell me, "just be friends and girl-love will come." I have been trying to and I think I've been doin a darn good job. It's just that I still have feelings and it goes against my nature to repress and restrict them (even if it's a good idea!). I believe one day God is going to redeem our feelings and purify them so this restraint of the heart is not necessary but in the mean time...

BWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

I don't know if she even knows I like her. She might even like me back. I'm just a wee mite frustrated. Girls confuse me.

Daniyel