decisions......

I don't usually post what's happening in my life on this several hundred pages of blogging bliss. A lot of people say that's what they like about my blog when compared with others, that I dive deep into the heart of where God wants me amidst the trenches of the everyday. I mean there's nothing wrong with your typical "I went to class today" blog. That's just not me. I'm good with that. I like to dive deep and find out where God exists in the mundane banalities of my everyday life-- without that... life would be boring.

Anyway, I say that to explain I might break the pattern today. Not everyday--- just today, mainly because I feel like it. This is my site.

I have some choices I have to get going on, and most of them are good solid choices. The ones that aren't--- the dirty work--- are choices that I needed to make and act on a long time ago to try and get me to the center of where God wants me. I get excited about that, God doesn't let my dragging feet hamper Him from doing what's best for me and getting me out of seperation and friendships that are harmful or unhealthy (the friendship prieviously referenced in the entry "Our Equipment is Faulty"). He's showing me how to get out of stuff I ought not be. For instance, at Bible Study the other night, I got some really prophetic like words given to me on how to stand up for the truth of the Gospel and not the interpretations of men. God's showing me stuff and it rocks.

Another cool decisions that I may be going next summer to China to learn more Chinese through MSU. I always get apprehensive about doing big stuff like this because I have this rational side of me that likes to war with the adventurer side. The same thing happened when I did Spanish camp last summer. I want to go, if you must know. I long for adventures passionately, as the desert does rain or the wilderness the sweetness of dew. But there is always this part of me that whispers I should stay home, maybe work at home all summer, and not do anything because that's the smart thing to do. I don't know if I trust that voice, because if I keep listening to it, I never go anywhere.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't the rational side that shows me when something is a bad idea or financially unfeasible. I listen to that voice all the time. It's foolish not to. The fact is, I am going to need these credits anyway, it costs about the same to go China and study as it does to live on campus here in East Lansing, and if I'm going to be in debt, I might as well go to China for my trouble. I have addressed all that and it makes sense to do this. That's not the issue.

However, there is always this voice in my head that says that maybe I'll need the money for a full time job this summer or maybe I should stay at my communities or maybe I should do this or maybe I should do that. That voice asks me, "what is easier and more sane?" instead of "where is the adventure?" And frankly a voice like that, I don't trust.

Anyway, please keep praying all who read. Simply put, my line of reasoning on China could be wrong. Pray I hear God because it's not an exact science I think. (My soul has a tendency to confuse the voice of God with fear or myself--- I don't know why, they often sound nothing alike). I covet your prayers, combined they are worth more than a million trips to the uttermost parts of the earth. I love God and I praise Him with all my deep core for giving me all of you. You all, if you read this, help shape me in a way that you shan't know until the LORD comes again and wrecks the evil that sore besets us all.

And that Day, "a day like any other day", is one I eagerly anticipate.

In altissimus--- Gloria ad Deum

Daniel

a new hope

Ladies and gentleman, as I write this I must warn you, I should probably be doing my Judaism homework. Even though I am quite behind in my readings for that great class, frankly I have to get this off my chest for reasons that will become immediatly apparent.

Last night at Visions (visionsministries.org) Mike Thompson gave this really incredible talk about how a relationship with God is great because you can have issues with God. God is this real person, and with any relationship, you can talk to the guy and even get in fights because you see things differently. God doesn't mind (Don't get me wrong, he's usually right, being omniscient and all) but it's not like God has this power trip thing where you can't argue or express your frustration with the guy. He loves us and wants to communicate with us and sometimes, when we are most frustrated is when we communicate most honestly. He sacrificed a lot for that type of honesty (namely His Son and sometimes our good opinion of Him). He doesn't mind though, because He loves us and wants to connect with us on this deep, real, intimate level. He's God and that's one of the many reasons why He is Wonderfull.

But anyway, what bugged me is why Mike was frustrated. Simply put, with my 10 hour a week job at 6.50 per hour, I make more money than Visions. That's pathetic.

The thing is, it's not because people don't care or attendence is low. We run more people on a weekly basis than most church youth groups. Nor is the problem a lack of Spiritual fruit or real ministry. That very night, not an hour before worship started, a girl (and I believe her boyfriend) got saved and turned their lives to the Great Romance. I have a friend who is being delivered from Homosexuality because of this place. I've seen people healed at Visions-- recently. Prophecy happens there, (I could tell you eerie stories) . Ministry happens at Visions night club in a big way and it happens often. There are thousands of people in the greater Lansing Area who wouldn't be serving Christ if Visions didn't exist. Not only that, but families have been started from people who met at Visions. Those children wouldn't exist and wouldn't move on to impact others for the Gospel if we didn't meet every friday at 2004 N. Larch street at 10:00. (that was a subtle plug, people--- COME!).

Anyway, a group like this shouldn't have to be worried about money all the time. Mike Thompson, one of the most amazing disciplers on the planet, should have enough money to support his children. He might read this and would probably kill me if he did. I don't care. Frankly, as the body of Christ, we aren't doing what we should to support those who are working in our midst. The Bible says that a minister of the Gospel should be supported by the preaching of that Gospel (Matthew 10). Paul insisted that the ministers of the Gospel had a right to this support and could be waived by the minister only if he or she didn't want to burden the people (1 Cor 9:1-14). However, the key word here, is that this support is a RIGHT!!!! A minister of the Gospel should not have to struggle to put food on the table. He or she shouldn't have to divide their time at a menial job because the body of Christ is too freaking cheap. It's stupendous how ridicoulous this is. The servants of Christ should have to go hungry and if they do, it's because the body of Christ has shamed itself and not taken care of those who are most precious to it. I am running out of ways to say how ridicoulous this is. It's shameful!!!

The fact is, I used to be a little hesitant about going into full-time ministry because I felt like I wasn't able to trust God to provide the support. Now I feel like my faith is actually to a level where that wouldn't be a problem-- I feel as though I could trust God for my daily bread. What irks me though is that I'm still scared to go that route because I don't trust people. God can prompt us and prod us till He is blue in the face. But It doesn't matter what He does, cause He's too much of a gentleman to make us do it. He always asks and only that. And I get the feeling that we in the middle of our suburban Christianity, consistantly tell Him no and that we don't care. People (myself included... really I am just as much a culprit as all of us) won't listen because we are to comfortable or it hurts to bad to sacrifice for those who minister among us.

I don't know about you all, but I am ready to listen to God. Don't worry, Mom, I am not going to give every cent I have to Visions. (Mainly because we have already established the Church's inability to support people-- not God's inability, the church's. I need to eat too.) It's unwise to give money you don't have. I know that now. Plus it's wrong to give out of compulsion or guilt and we must check our motives before we give a cent.

But I am going to give my tithe and my time and maybe a little extra as the Lord leads. I am going to get my feet on the ground and start writing and making noise for the cause of Christ. I am going to start disseminating my rambling, badly spelled rants on the internet until somebody listens. Mainly because the only hope this thing called following Christ has is that people start owning it, not because they are guilted or compeled, but because they love God. It bears repeating. OWN YOUR CHRISTIANITY! STEP UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NOW!

But to beat a dead horse, allow me to end with this...

"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little Children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.

For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and he knows all things. Beloved, If our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And Whatever we ask we recieve from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those thing that are pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment. " - The Apostle John (1 John 3:16-23).

Own your relationship with God but don't let your heart condemn you. God is greater than your heart and He knows all things.

~prayerfully in war

Daniel Gabriel Allegri

the redpool again...

I haven't had much time to post and it's killing me, I think. I have to write, because I feel like my spiritual life takes it's shape when I write. I pray often, but when I write-- I talk. I love. I speak my mind and the real Daniel comes out. The me you see on here is the closest thing you get to the real Daniel. I mean that, something about writing helps me live from my deep heart. I make it a point to be as brutally honest on this thing as I can (at least with where I'm at--- another reason why my bursts on the redpool come infrequently is that sometimes my wanderings take the shape of dealings with others and I don't want to spill their business to the masses)

My business, on the other hand, must be spilt. I feel that is why I feel an itch to write on this thing if I go too long without it. God's calling me to write. He's calling me to my keyboard because he loves me and he knows me. He knows this is how I see things, how I process the adventure of the Holy. I long for God to show me things and he uses me and the random scribllings of pen on paper or fingers on keys to show me Himself. I seek God when I write and it's cohesive. Something happens. I get somewhere and a point is made and a vision is seen. God shows up when I write and like Jacob when he wrestled the angel, "God was here all along and I didn't even know it."

Daniel

Our equipment is faulty

We live in a world most desprately sick. It is dying because, at it's basest core, something went contrary to the deep rhythms of the universe---- namely sin. As such, the Bible says we must test everything. We must have skeptism of what we hear from heaven, not because we doubt God, but because we doubt ourselves. We know our 'hearing equipment' is not up to snuff. Sin has deafened and blinded us to the real world--- that of the Spirit. (read 1 John)

The thing is, how we perceive the world is limited to what we can see and perceive in these 3-dimensions-and-time. But when we hear God, there will always be something pushing on us from beyond those 3-dimensions-and-time. God, for whatever reason, has decided to exist outside our perception. He every so often enters the realm of the perceivable, in fact he does that often. That's the point of the Kingdom of God--- Emmanuel-- God with us. However, we are not there yet and because the 'language' God speaks to us with is one we have to learn. It is vitally important that we test ourselves to understand that we aren't missing His point.

I have this friend who says he hears from God. Now, I have no idea if the guy hears from God or not. It's not my place to test for him, he's got to test himself.... himself. However, I see what's coming out of his hearing from God and I don't like it. It doesn't jive with who I know God to be. It's difficult to but my finger on it and if I were to explain it to him, he'd have no idea what I'm talking about (maybe because he doesn't want to know).

However, I guess the reason why I'm skeptical is because God never disagrees with him. It says in Hebrews that God loves those whom he disciplines. Does my friend allow God to discipline him? Does God exist for this guy outside of the role my friend has given him--- the justifier of everything my friend says? Is God big enough to disagree violently? To totally change our paradigm because we can always change, always grow, always do better? Aslan is not a tame lion, and he often tells us what we don't like or don't agree with. However, He's God, so that means He is right and we are wrong. Maybe the authority of the church is what is needed to slap one believer upside the head when he falls into this error.

I should not be writing this--- the Bible says to make every effort to keep the bond of peace. Correction shouldn't happen in a public forum, at least not at first. I've talked to him several times about stuff like this, trying to test him, to show him that there might be holes in his thinking, that he might be wrong in a whole host of different situations. There's nothing else I can do here, save pray God show him some more truth. The Bible says, 1. take it to the person, one on one, 2. take it to him with another brother (there are no others who would do this with me I think). 3. Take it to the community. (That's what this is about.)

If he's not too busy praying to a God too small to disagree and can figure out that this is him, he's welcome to address me concerning this issue on the redpool and in real life. However, I really don't think he will read this or think I am talking about him. Whatever happens, I would appreciate no personal attacks on anyone and discourse wrought in the brotherly love of fellow Christ followers. In disagreements is where the Church of Christ proves she is really the Church of Christ.

Peace of Christ

Daniel

Entendamonos

no es este el relato de hazanas impresionantes, no es tampoco meramente un "relato poco cinico" no quiere serlo por lo menos. Es un trozo de dos vidas tomadas en un momento en que cursaron juntas un determinado trecho, con identidad de aspiraciones y conjuncion de ensuenos. Un hombre en nueve meses de su vida puede pensar en muchas cosas que van de la mas elevada especulacion filosofica al rastrero anhelo de un plato de sopa, en total correlacion con el estado de vacuidad de su estomago; y si al mismo tiempo es algo aventurero, en ese lapso puede vivir momentos que tal vez interesen a otras personas, y cuyo relato indiscriminado constituira algo asi como estas notas.

this is not the story of impressive deeds, neither is it merely a little cynical story. It doesn't mean to be at least. It's a piece of two lives taken in a moment which run together a determined strech, with identity of aspirations and a conjunction of common dreams. A man in nine months of his life can think on many things that go from the most elevated philosophical speculation to the face yearning for a plate of soup, in total correlation with the state of emptiness of his stomach, and if at the same time it's something adventurous, en this lapse can live moments that maybe interest other people, and whose indescriminate story can constitute something like these stories.

This is the opening paragraph from "los diarios de motocicleta" by Che Guevara. What does it take to have this kind of life, this "identity of aspiracions and conjunction of common dreams?" I'm realy curious for your opinions, people! SPEAK!

Daniel

a major epiphany about girls and by implication, people in general

I must warn you, the following epiphany is not original. It was birthed after my mom and Linda, telling me this since I hit puberty. However, I think it finally set in.

I should just be friends with girls. The fact is... when we have nothing to lose, when we walk into a social situation with no expectations, or secret motives or things-we-want (even things as lofty as romance), than it goes a lot smoother. You engage each other on such a God-bought level that really is quite amazing. The Christ-follower doesn't look to others for their validation. It's kind of self-centered to use people to make you feel good and appreciated, anyway. Instead, we should look to God ultimately, first and foremost, for our validation because HE LOVED US first. (I'm not saying we should look to God primarily for our own needs of validation either. I'm just saying it's a constant, something which you can hang your hat on with or without its acceptance.) This God-love frees us to love others and want nothing, not even their love, from our dealings together. God is a God of no expectations, or demands or standards you can't meet. Instead, He is the God of a love that calls us HIGHER! (That is why we want to be good, cause God loves us, even if we are good or not.) Why shouldn't we be this way with others and love them recklessly? Maybe this goes a little higher than even guy-girl relationships. Maybe this approaches how we should see everybody. As people who God loves, no matter what. We should love like it.

This sounds so pathetic but this is the first time in recent memory I haven't been worried or scared or hurt that I didn't have a girlfriend. This revelation is that deep. I feel nothing but liberated in Christ. Praise God Thanks guys for listening in the midst of my whining, even when I'm sure you all wanted to slap me. Thanks for loving me instead!

I love you all!

Daniel

bible study meditation and a shout out

"People care about you, but whether or not they care about you is pretty secondary to whether or not you care about them. We HAVE to care, because CHRIST cares. We do what we see him doing. Yeah, there were people leaving and running when he was hanging on the Cross but that didn't give him a right to stop caring about them."- Linda

Jesus and my cool friends rock my socks. We must decide to love, cause Christ loved us!

Further up and Further in!!!!!!

Daniel

PS BS meditation is Acts 1!!!!!

God loves us, a lot

At Visions last night, I was reminded that God loves us--- a lot. There are no expectations here or demands that you need to meet. There is no failure or no standard that makes God not love you. "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us". God's love is amazing and we don't have to impress it, nor do we have to defend ourselves to Adonai. Instead, we are called higher by his love. It makes us better because we want to love him better and become more intimate. The Christian life is not some ever increasing adherance to a standard, it's an ever increasing intimacy with our God. Praise God, your love calls us higher!

Daniel