I about wet myself.......

Okay, so I was just being bored at work a minute ago and one of the employees came in (Joy). I get to talking with her and find out she speaks Chinese. So I'm like okay, I have another person to practice with. This is pretty cool. There are like 3.5 (I'm the .5) Chinese speakers at the lab so I get a little chance for some well needed practice every so often. She asks who my teacher is, and I tell her it's Teng Laoshi. She asks what I think of her. I tell her pretty honestly that Teng Laoshi is the only person I have trouble understanding. Then I ask where she learned Chinese. She said, "at home. Teng Laoshi is my mom"


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now you must understand, this teacher is hard to understand. She's really nice but for some reason this 5 foot tall little Chinese lady intimidates the crap out of me. I think it's mostly because its a common stereotype that Chinese is hard to learn. (it is hard but it's not impossible) so when someone busts out with a stream of Chinese, it's almost like you pre-programed yourself to not understand. It's constantly something I am struggling with in that class, that I know more than I think I do. With language, confidence is everything.

On a more serious note, I sinned today. Don't get me wrong, sinning for me is not something spectacular or rare. I tend to do it a lot. However, this is something I thought I kicked. I guess not. Part of me wants to beat myself up about it, but part of me doesn't think there is a whole lot I can do. I mean I did it, I repented, I can try to do better next time and God loves me anyway. Next time I get tempted I just need to ask God's spirit to help. In my more lucid moments, I know the worlds systems and its lies cannot satisfy what my heart really longs for, to get my glory from God, and to have him love me and tell me I am good and beautiful and right. However, very rarely I get theese spells where the only thing I think about is how I want to sin, and I should satisfy that want. You know when you get hungry and the only thing you can think about is eating? That's what it is like. I really just need to stop and say no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, enough with confessions, I have a poodle's birthday I need to celebrate!!!!

Happy birthday Josh!!!!

Daniel