meditation for zie bible study (and a spiritual fiber/pregnancy problem)

Meditation for Bible study: Pick one of the seven churches in Revelation 2-3 that you most identify with and do an artish thing about why that is.....

I figured out that I should try and do small talk even if I hate it. I need people and the only way to find out just "how deep the rabbit hole goes" with people is talk. But maybe there's a way to dive deep with even casual conversations. I mean in order to speak about God, you need to earn "street cred" (I am so white). But it's foolish to talk about Jesus if you haven't earned the right to be heard. In dealings with believers and non-believers that takes time. But what if there's a way to dive deep in conversations, to plumb the depths of another person's soul but not be pushy about it.

Spiritual fiber--- I have trouble expeling crap. It just keeps coming back and I long for freedom. That God would fix the world starting with me so I can fix others...

Spiritual pregnancy--- I want to birth life into others. I want freedom and life, not just for myself but to do what I can for other people. That God would bring life from His inmost parts to mine

some thoughts
Daniyel