beauty....
I got called out the other day. My friend Linda posted here about women and how they long to have their beauty recognized. They long for affirmation and validation that they are beautiful and worthy of pursuit. I mean, you can read it yourself, she said it a lot better than I could.
This is something I intuited for a while, but I never had enough guts to put it in the words. In a very real sense, I wanted to fight for a beauty and that's why I pursued a lot of the relationships I did in High School. I wanted someone to appreciate, to fight a war for, just like women want to be the one for whom wars are fought.
This leads to two conclusions.
1. As I was walking to Royale the other day, with me having to avert my eyes from girl #347321 who thinks because the weather is warm it's okay to walk around half-naked, it occured to me that these women don't know they are beautiful. Plus, a lot of women especially in the community of Christ followers, forget this vital truth. The men in their lives haven't told them because they are off trying to find a beauty to fight for, ignorant of the beauty right under their nose.
2. Why can't I tell them? It could mean a lot to the women in my life if I were free enough with speaking the truth, that they are beautiful and worthy to be pursued. It also occured to me that maybe I don't need a romantic relationship with them in order to say this. Why I can't I appoach the girls I know well enough, those who worship with me in the Body of Christ, to tell them that they are gorgeous, not cause I want to score points but because they are truly gorgeous and they forget they are so? Why can't I do this as I would do it for my own sister?
3. It must be done correctly. If I go around saying to everyone I meet "you're beautiful" then I start to do it not because I think so, but because I feel obligated to do it. No, I must prepare myself to be as sincere as I can possibly be in recognizing my sisters' beauty. I have tried for that, and if you are reading this and I have told you that you are beautiful in the last couple days, I have told you that because you ARE, not because I think I should. Don't forget, any of you, you really are captivating!
I hope I don't sound like an overly romantic cheeseball. I really feel pretty strongly about this. Take it for it is worth.
In God's sacred beauty, woven into the fabric of space, time, and all creation,
Daniel
posted by Daniel @ 10:01 上午
5 comments
5 Comments:
AWWWW well golly gee dan. i always wondered if i was beautiful but- well, you just make me feel so pretty...my hero...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh, tear, anyways: so yeah, duh. i mean why do you think so many girls are a friend of mine. because i always compliment. on something. that shirt their hair, their smell, their talent. that is like the biggest key to making a girl feel good about herself. her identity. ya know kev did at least have that right. i remember once in ya he mentioned that guys need to affirm the ladys and vice versa. he may be a moron now but he had some good insight then. anyways yeah so glad youre in on the little secret us pimps, and we know it and we love them hoes, have been onto for years. so keep up the good work pimpdaddy daniel...keep it up sucka {theres supposed to be an explanation point but joshs keyboard is retarded} mrt
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Matthew, I'm afraid the lady does have a point..... please be more careful in the future....
I wouldn't have though it vomit-inducing, but certainly perhaps not most appropriate.
That aside, I agree with your post, Daniel, although I would extend this beyond women. I find myself now making a point of saying when I am impressed by the efforts that somebody has clearly made to enhance himself/herself. I do this with both men and women, and have no qualms about it at all. It really warms the heart to see somebody's face light up when I mention something that (s)he has clearly put effort into.
One does have to be careful though. I never quite know how to react when I say something as a compliment, in all innocence, and the intended recipient takes offence at this as it is taken as an improper flirtation. I find it rather comical when women do it, as I really have no reason to flirt with them, and there are certain types of men who react this way out of ignorance and prejudice, and I just find it rather wearisome that they should judge somebody in this way, simply for paying them a compliment. (sigh).
Geez Thomas...you sounded oh so wise in your first post...and by oh so wise I really mean...*chuckle* Matt, I love you but sometime you can be pretty ridiculous.
Okay...so about complementing a woman without coming on to her, I guess that the best example of that could be Jesus with the Woman at the Well. Notice that while everyone talked about that being inappropriate because she was a woman/Samaritan/adulterer/etc and He was a rabbi/Jew/God/etc. no one ever even thought that he was at the well paying attention to her, affirming her worth, offering her living water because he wanted to get her laid. Don't be ridiculous. Christ didn't want to get into her pants, he wanted to get into her heart. Which is far more intimate, and a little more dangerous.
There's something so key about a dude that pays attention to us, who listens, who affirms that we are captivating, that we are beautiful, and that we are worthy of his time and attention.
I am fortunate to have a lot of men in my life who have affirmed that I am worthy, that I'm captivating, and that I'm worthy of their time. But many women do not. That's so so destructive. Brothers, BE BROTHERS!!!! (Dan...you are to me...I know you think I'm awesome.)
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